Slay the Beast, Whore!

Welcome back from the holidays, heathens, today's question comes from Snoopy McSnooperson out in Madison, Wisconsin. Snoopy writes:


Dear D'NA,

My wife sent nude pictures to her internet gamer friends and told me she did not send any. I found a few pictures that she wrote the name of the recipient on and confronted her. She denied any emailing of the pictures and now its been boiling. That was at Thanksgiving. Yesterday I went through her sent email to find out that she has sent several pictures to multiple people who she plays an internet game with. I am enraged that she has been doing this for over a year and without my knowledge. Confronting her would let her know that I was snooping. Am I wrong to bring this up again?

Thanks,
Snoopy McSnooperson







Well, well, well. Aren't we the trusting type? Also, the stupid type. What are you doing wrong, Snoopy, that your loving wife would have time to 'game' online? Sure, she's a tramp. No doubt about it, she's throwing her bits all over the place, desperate for unholy sanctions.

This may or may not be your fault, but I can only assume that your bedroom needs a good dusting. I don't want to frighten you, I understand the male species is predisposed to be a tad bit...well, let's just say that men in general give off the nasty Musk of Fear. If this is what she is doing online, what do you think she may be doing offline? I would imagine it involves some sort of fornication the likes of which only Demonica would know.

What do you know about the recipients? Are they doctors, maybe? No? Are they male? No? Here, honey, let me break it to you: your lovely bride is a filthy lesbian. Not just a lesbian, a slutty lesbian. Which is much worse than your garden variety, classy lesbian. She isn't the type of lesbian that looks forward to raising a child born to man and woman, she is the type of lesbian that would punch holes in the outskirts of her secret garden. The type of lesbian that enjoys sporting events, often yelling for harder hits. No matter, either lesbian will surely burn in hell. And so will you, for condoning her behavior through your male stupidity.

Wait, maybe the recipients are male, Angelina? No way in Jesus' sweet name, my children. If they were male, why bother? Madison is a well populated area (for Wisconsin) and she could very well find throbbing, sinful, mildly painful joy anywhere in town at any time of the day. Plenty of men to go around. Your wife, Snoopy, seeks something more exotic: hot lesbian action. Believe me, my dirty sister is a lesbian. I understand the depravity that your wife has fallen victim to. Breathe easy, if it makes you feel any better, your lying, licking, whore of a wife is most certainly primed for an extended stay in the hot box. I wash my hands of this matter, Demonica, feel free to spill your guts because it sounds like Snoopy married your little sister.






Snoopy dear, what the fuck are you thinking? Confronting her would let her know you've been snooping? Did you ride the short bus to school? I bet you did, you window licker. Grow a pair of fucking balls and stand up to this bitch! That's probably why she's fucking around online. She has a man at home who can't even confront her about her devious behavior. Shame on you, Snoopy.

But Demonica will help you, don't you worry about that! She's obviously seeking attention from you. She is putting them in a place where you're bound to find them. What games does she play online? Have you considered asking her if she would like to do a little 'gamer role play'? Maybe dress up like a fucking dragon and have her slay you or something, I don't know. But fuck, do something! Bring back the pizazz, you flacid weenie!

If she has in fact found someone else and is whoreing out her lady parts to said person, then I'm afraid there's nothing you can do short of pouring a little cyanide in her bloody mary and taking a Romeo and Juliet exit. Nothing says romance like, "I'll kill you, bitch".

Snoopy, it is my opinion that you should do the following 3 things:

1. Email the person that you're trampy wife sent the pictures to, pretending to be her, and find out just what sort of relationship they are having.
2. Grow a pair, you pussy!
3. Confront the bitch. Ask her what the fuck is up? Tell her you know she's sending them and she can't deny it, you have hard evidence.

I'm afraid you already know what to do in this situation, you're just too much of a sissy to do it Snoopy. So good luck to ya! Oh, and if your wife is a carpet muncher, give her Demonica Darling's number...