Dear D'NA,
My question for you girls is about threesomes. I have a friend who is pretty hot. And I know she likes making out with girls and guys. And I have been fantasizing about her making out with my husband. A lot. I even masturbated while thinking about it. I want to bring it up with my husband but I am not sure what to say. We have never talked about that in our relationship before. What if he gets upset? It's kind of something you can't take back.
Thanks
Dear Danica,Let me start off by saying that I am shocked, absolutely floored that you've never even joked about this with your husband? I do entirely agree with you that you are on a slippery slope and once you start to slide, baby girl, you can't take it back. You stand on the cusp of your husband looking at you in an entirely different light.
I said cusp and this makes me laugh, because just this morning my husband informed me that he was cusping my breast. I tried to explain how this was wrong, it did me no good, but note I said that my husband was cusping my tatty and not my husband AND girlfriend were fighting for the best funbag lovin' position. And even as I write this he is sending me naughty emails about being my firefighter and saving me while I slide down his pole. No mention of saving me and my hot, bi-sexual girlfriend. Because there isn't one. Shut up, Demonica.
Demonica is totally going to disagree with me on this one and that is okay. I touched on this in my last response that dealt with a similar issue, although they were already in the swing of things. Look, Danica darling, chances are if you are MARRIED to a man and you don't know how he feels about threesomes, I'm guessing he's not into them. Most men, and you can quote me on this, are very upfront about what they want in the bedroom and what they don't. If he has never, ever brought this subject up, then I'm thinking that he thinks his marriage is between you and him and whatever fantasies you two have in your dirty little minds.
Now, if you disagree with my take on this and you decide to proceed, I would suggest you do so with MUCH caution. Perhaps just mention the story you read below about the wedding day swingers, or throw out a funny little crack about a threesome and see what his reaction is. If you get any kind of resistance, BACK OFF! The last thing a man who doesn't dig threesomes wants is a woman who does.
Now let's see what my dear, darling, totally into sitting on girl's faces, Demonica has to say:
Danica,
You make Demonica so happy with this question. Not only because like my darling Angelina says, I like to sit on girl's faces, but because this is something so near and dear to my cold, ice encrusted heart.
Every man has at least thought about his wife with another woman and if they deny that, they're lying to save your feelings, my love. Your husband has definitely thought about it and I'm sure has also masturbated to the thought as well.
The tricky part here is broaching the subject. Here's what you should do; go buy a few bottles of wine, get tipsy and then tell your sweet hunk-a-hub's how you just get so turned on thinking about him kissing another woman while you watch. If he doesn't ask for more info immediately or at least show some eager interest, I promise to give you my first born.
Here's something else you need to think about though, my curious little kitty; how far do you want it to go if your hubs says yes? If he's into the thought and you agree that your friend is the one, do you want it to go beyond kissing? If not, then that's something that you need to be up front about. Nothing worse than getting into the heat of the moment and being told to zip back up, cause nothing else is happening. Also, do you have any idea what your friend would say? In my opinion, it would be far more awkward to ask your friend about this than it would be to ask your husband.
I had a similar situation a few years back when I was the girlfriend of a married couple. She brought me in and everything was perfect for a while. But then the wife started getting jealous whenever she watched her husband pounding into me and things got nasty. You have to ask yourself, "how jealous of a person am I"? If that's something you can easily live with, then I say to let your freak flag fly, girlie.
Here's for Christmas wishes. Hopefully it's everything you thought it would be.
23 comments:
I can honestly say that this is one of my most favorite new blogs. But you should add some diagrams in a three step format. Like hand drawn....fuck it, nevermind, I got sidetracked thinking about two girls licking my balls. Happy Holidays.
Demonica was drawing a diagram but she drew one straight line and got all excited. And once she drew one straight line, one curvy line and one bi-sexual line she was out to sea.
Most impressive.
If you think that's impressive, you should see what I can do with my tongue, GoK.
And Angelina has a most impressive trick with a ping pong ball.
I picked it up in Korea. It's nothing, really.
This story reminds me of that one time in 'nam...oh, nevermind.
Ghost, what 2 girls will be licking your balls, buttfucker?
The only thing I ever picked up in Korea was syphilis. Consider yourself lucky.
DPH: I was hoping for you and Anne Hathaway, but I'm open to suggestions.
Oh good Lord, do you two skanks have to drag your stuff all over the net or what?
Is it wrong that I've never been more turned on from being called a skank in my life?
Ghost, that's perfect.
Angelina is the prude here, isn't she.
Mt input? Wait until you're right in the middle of banging your husband. Make sure you're on top of him and have his undivided attention. And then ask him, generally, what he fantasizes about. If he doesn't offer anything up, you tell him what you fantasize about. That's your segue into this conversation. He'll either tell you you're gross, or he'll play along with the conversation. Or he'll just fuck you harder. Either way, you're know. And if he tells you all sorts of sordid, nasty, hothot things and then says, "But I don't EVER actually want to do that" believe him. Take him at his word on that. Trust me on that one.
GoK, yes darling, Angelina is the prude of the bunch. But that's why I love her so. I need an angel to balance out my devlish side.
Mr. Lady, nicely done on the advice. However, that would put quite a damper on things if he were grossed out by your little confession. I'd take the risk of course.
He wouldn't be. It's almost impossible to gross a guy out with his dick in you.
I meant to add this: For our dear questionairess, I'm going with Angelica on this one and reminding you that sometimes a fantasy is a fantasy for a REASON. Sometimes, making it a reality totally ruins it for you. If thinking about him making out with your friend gets you off, are you willing to jeopardize ruining that just to try it?
If you really like the idea of getting fucked with a banana, and then you try that, but the banana breaks off really far up in you and you wait a few days for it to come out on it's own and end up in the ER having some hot nurse scraping banana bits out of you, you will have totally ruined a perfectly good fantasy. FOREVER. Just sayin'.
Mr. Lady: I don't want to sound like a smartass here....who am I kidding?
Here's a tip: next time, don't peel the banana.
Thank you, Mr. Lady. I totally agree with what you're saying there, only I would have said hot dog instead of banana.
But you know me and hot dogs.
And my word verification was pusei. That's just dirty and slightly foreign sounding.
One of mine was 'vaggrc'.
Ghost, I prefer cucumbers. Really cold ones.
Ooooo... I like the cold... Yum...
I say go for it, but who am I kidding, I haven't been laid in a year... celibacy sucks... I might be giving myself carpal tunnel... but whatev....
Thanks for the advice. I think I am going with the bringing it up after drinks AND during sex. So at least the subject has been brought up. We'll see from there.
Angelina, the most we have talked about is pointing out hot girls when we're out. I guess not bringing it up after all these years might mean something. I hadn't thought of it like that before. Thanks.
And Demonica, I've already brought it up with my friend. She makes it easy to talk about that because she talks about things like that all the time.
Well then you're a lucky girl to have such a rockin' friend.
Why do I sense a future question along the lines of, "So, I told my husband I wanted him to make out with my friend, and he did. A lot. And now he wants to make out with her and not me. My question is, how do I kill her and get away with it?"
Oooohhhh, I can't wait for that post. I have a few tips on how to rid yourself of an 'Inconvenient Vagina'.
Slippery slope is right. Every 'open' relationship I know of that works is between people who know how to have an honest conversation. And then have another one and another one and another one. Open relationships always seem to get a bad rap as being immature and all about impulsivity. When really? I think it takes an amazing amount of maturity and impulse control to manage them.
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